it's made of poison...

it has recently come to my attention that i have neglected to update my blog...ever. due to the overwhelming interest (all two of you) and a desire to avoid my real work, i've decided to author my first of many treatises on nihil.

~crime against humanity~

generally the merits, or lack thereof, of carbonated beverages do not inspire me to wax ecstatic (though i have yet to try new diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper - and the very thought induces an unabashed thread of drool, so this soft drink treatise might become an installment series), but sometimes something comes along which so offends the sensibilities...one really has to see it to believe it:

'limited edition pepsi-cola holiday spice: cola spiced up for the season'

where does one even start? the incredulity factor. i came across this x-mas surplus in early january in a convenience store. the novelty of it spurred me to the checkout, despite the sage protestations of my companion. two sips later: *shudder*

it was pepsi, to be sure, but the 'spices' were reminiscent of cheap cologne. not even designer imposter cologne, we're talking i-90-truck-stop-in-alabama or '70s-era-rest-stop bathroom dispenser quality. not that i frequent such places regularly or if i did would even consume the aforementioned $1.50 rest room condiments, but one can extrapolate from the simile an appropriate idea of what effect these 'spices' might have on the unsuspecting palate.

in other words, it tasted like pure evil...don't ask what pure evil tastes like, when you sample it, you'll know. however, instead of chucking this monstrosity out, like any other person with sound common sense, i resolved to drink it in its entirety. i figured i must have incurred some very terrible karma to necessitate such beverage-related punishment, and i was determined to atone. i think i gained my friend's respect...or pity, i'm not really clear on which.

it says 'limited edition', and i know companies generally pander these disclaimers as threats, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, let it be a promise.