red pepper sandwich for S.J.

or, gastronomic gaffe in grimsby

really, with a rubric like that, do we even need content? yes? fair enough.

it had been awhile since i'd spent quality party time with my roommate, so i arranged to give him some prime social calendar real estate - saturday night. now, instead of the usual patio-style antics to which we get up, steve and i had pledged our precious time to a stag and doe. and not just any stag and doe...a friend of a friend's stag and doe. 'cause hey, amicitia 3 times removed is always a blast.

we took the 45 minute journey out to the middle of nowhere - i mean, downtown grimsby. driving 45 minutes really whets the appetite for a celebration of upcoming monogamy lightly flavoured with hints of calculating greed. two wrong turns and a rainstorm later, we had arrived at the civic center/hockey arena/banquet hall - tripartite classy! good times from the start: we got inside and received the cold stare of suspicious hostility from the guests who favoured timely arrival. we preferred fashionable lateness...if your idea of 'fashionable' is 3.5 hours tardy. however, the ire for the 'city folk' wore off when they saw us spend money...stag and does are capitalist ventures above all.

our pockets emptied, we tucked into the hearty fare provided - a little heavy on the protein, but i hadn't gone grocery shopping in nearly 3 weeks, so i wasn't complaining, for once. having eaten, we engaged in the only other activity available to strangers at such affairs - we drank. a lot. now, usually this is conducive to auspicious meet-and-greets, but bear in mind, this is grimsby - not as big on the inbreeding as, say, dunnville, but still a little shallow in that gene pool.

after a couple hours of standing stupidly about, we decided to take action...and by 'action' i mean illegal drugs. our friends didn't disappoint in the amusement department. our friend michelle became concerned for steve and my poor eating habits (or, the fact that our favoured eating habit is, well, not). and so, i give you:

*michelle's super-duper doggy bag recipe*

macaroni salad

pasta sausage

veggie platter

cheese pizza

butter tart

bun

pickled red peppers

first, pile copious amounts of the above ingredients 1-5 in one bucket-like container. mix thoroughly. close lid. abandon better judgment. add a bun. open said bun. pile high a stack of roasted red peppers. close bun. close lid.

our friend's concern for our health was touching...disgusting, but touching. however, there would be no red pepper sandwich for little S.J.:

i hucked that sucker in the nearest bin.



***

and in case you're wondering, yes, i did eat the rest of the bucket's contents over the next few days. i might have balked at that sandwich, but as much as i hate a gustatory amalgam, i hate going to the grocery store more.