body jewelry, bad karma and you

for the first time in 6 years, i attempted to change my body jewelry. no, not the lip ring. the lip just looks more hardcore with a 14 ga. BCR. the geriatric set wouldn't expectorate in my general direction if i were sporting a barbell in my lip. for those of you for whom 'BCR' simply resembles a typo for 'videocasstte recorder', i'll provide visual aid:



no, i went navel-gazing. i'd picked up a lovely curved barbell (more visual aid:)



on my excursion to the east (end). things were going well, until i realized i had no pliers with which to remove the BCR. snag #1. when i finally did manage to pop off the little ball, i got kai's attention. snag #2. meet kai:



not only is he the world's loudest siamese, he's also the most intellectually bereft. he needs a crash helmet. now, when i got his attention with the BCR, my first instinct should have been to lock him away, to prevent inevitable mishaps. but, we're all cognizant of my personal lack of common sense.

anyway, things are going well, i get the BCR out, the curved barbell in, and i'm attempting to screw on the closure ball. this is where things went awry. kai gets impatient, jumps me for the ring. the ball goes flying. kai chases it, for which i was actually grateful, because i could follow him to the ball. unfortunately...

...he ate it.

big @#$%ing snag #3. so, i'm forced to secure the curved barbell with ELMERS BLUE TAC (oh, the humanity) and proceed to the nearest mall to procure another piece of body jewelry. at long last, i return home with a 4-pack of bananabells:



now this time, i'm not a dumbass, i lock up the cat. success!

and so ends my body jewelry adventure. that's the first (and LAST) time i'll ever attempt to do that again. i think perhaps my karma was not so good today. one ought to have a spiritual evaluation before undertaking something of such paramount importance as altering their body modification. consult your gurus first!